You read that correctly. They suck. It’s really hard to coordinate seeing each other. Not to mention, it makes getting used to each other take forever. It puts a strain on your confidence. It taps your bank account. It makes everyone get out of their comfort zone to be together.
When I met Ben we lived states apart; Indiana for me and Missouri for him. We were only about 5 hours apart. It was awful. We only got to see each other about once a month or so. Throw in all the things we had going on in our own social circles, and then family gatherings, and planning was a nightmare. By a fortuitous stroke of bad luck, I lost my job and it gave me the opportunity to move closer to Ben. He had already agreed to come to me. But his company got bought out and we didn’t want to jeopardize his position. Moving to Saint Louis put us about two hours apart.
We see each other just about every weekend at this point. There are a few weekends we need to just take timeouts, but generally speaking we take turns visiting each other. It still SUCKS. It’s still hard to coordinate, and still hard to plan. We miss each other all the time. I pretty much talk for three hours straight when I haven’t seen him for a few days.
It’s worth it though. Every bit of agony is worth knowing we’re going to be together. Being closer allows us to coordinate easier. We’re moving into a single household at the end of they year. While my commute will be dreadful, it will be worth it to be together. What has kept us going through this torture is communication and perseverance. We talk about the things that are frustrating us. We vent our irritations about travel. We push each other to think about alternatives when planning goes awry. In the end, we’ll look back and laugh about all of the turmoils of these first two years.